In this life, anyone you know will disappoint you in some way, sooner or later. They’ll say or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they will do or fail to do something that will anger you. It’s quite inevitable.
Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone’s words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by that person, then you’re headed for a deeper problem.
In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the bitter you’ll get. You’ll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away and you’ll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the glitches and may find yourself telling others about it.
Eventually, if you don’t stop doing it, you might even get sick. An ailment that stems from the loneliness in your heart.
So what you should do next someone betrays you?
- TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS
Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible of your feelings.
In other words, other people do not ‘cause’ your feelings. You choose them. As Sylvia Clare had said, “life is a series of choices of how to behave.”
Often we make these choices automatically, without really being aware of what we are choosing or why.
But no matter what anyone does in any aspect of their life, it is still a
choice they have made. And, of course, in making choices we also make mistakes.
It is from those mistakes that we learn about ourselves and others. And we
learn how to make different choices next time if we remain open to the process
of making mistakes.
But one thing stops us learning from choices and that is
fear. Fear of judgment and criticism, which is usually felt as shame or guilt.
- WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT
You can do nothing with something that is already over. You just have to shake it off and step up. If it was a painful experience, then, learn from it.
Keep it as something to learn from but let go of it emotionally. Our disappointment is always based on what we think should have happened or what we hoped would happen or what we thought the other person should do.
- FORGIVE, LEARNING ACCEPTANCE and FORGET
It is difficult especially if you think that the other person does not deserve your forgiveness or does not even seek it. It is difficult when the other person is clearly at fault.
Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.
Forgiving someone does not mean that his behavior was okay nor that someone didn’t have to learn a lesson or two for hurting you. In anyway, that person is still responsible for his misbehavior. Forgiveness is letting you off the hook, releasing negative emotions, attitude and behavior. Forgiveness is letting go of the past so you can go forward.
Learning acceptance – We’ve all been through equivalent experiences in life. We have our own share of ups and downs and we’ve said a lot of times already the phrase “been there, done that.”
We have made or choices on whatever way we choose to behave or deal with our troubles. When we forgive, we learn to accept things as they are. It has already happened, there’s no sense on crying over spilled milk. We just have to forgive, accept and forget. Be emotionally intelligent, it will help you and the world.
If we replace judgmental values with a sense of our self-worth, and how we wish to express that essence of us to the rest of the world, we choose to live in a way that helps to heal ourselves and other people.
We accept it in a way that is unconditionally accepting of ourselves and of other people, so we drop our barriers in order to help heal the world.
So if you are reading this and you find that that bitterness within is hurting you, make a decision.
And you’ll be surprised just how wonderful it can be to live life to the
fullest. Learn from the past mistakes and use these learning to your advantage.
Let’s grow up and learn. Together.